Swiping right is just saying “I’d like to ignore my intuition in real time.” Online dating has all the appeal of a clearance bin—lots of options, mostly garbage, and the nagging feeling you’re settling for something you’ll regret.
Nothing says “emotionally available” like a 30-character bio and six gym selfies. I’ve had longer conversations with my grocery store self-checkout. At least it doesn’t ghost me.
The Bio Hall of Shame
If I see one more “I like tacos and The Office,” I’m deleting the app and adopting cats. Here are the greatest hits of terrible bios:
- “CEO of my own life” (unemployed, no plan)
- “Adventure seeker” (just restless, no direction)
- “Looking for my ride or die” (emotionally dependent)
- “No fatties/players/drama” (insecure, judgmental, hypocritical)
- Six photos of just their dog
- “I’m fluent in memes and coffee” (personality shop-bought)
- “Swipe right if you can make me laugh” (you can’t, they’re impossible)
- “Just here for fun” (will ghost, will break your heart, will claim innocence)
- Full gym/shirtless mirror pics with one blurry face photo
- “Message me to learn more” (lazy, boring, or hiding something)
Guys who say “fluent in sarcasm” are fluent in exactly nothing else. When someone’s entire bio is “just ask,” they’re really saying “I have nothing to offer.” The number of men who think listing their gym routine is a personality trait is genuinely alarming.
The Chemistry Trap
Chemistry is intoxicating until you realize the person got intoxicated by literally everything. The intensity that feels like magic at first often just means someone’s unstable—and you’re the spell.
Intimacy is beautiful until you realize you’re more invested in their growth than they are.
The Sea of Mediocrity
Here’s what I know: I’m worth the wait. Not because I’m perfect—I’m messy and complicated and still figuring it out. But I’m aware, intentional, and I know what real connection feels like. Most people are still swiping blind. When someone finally shows up who can match this energy? They’ll know exactly what they found.
The rejection of the wrong person is just the universe protecting the arrival of the right one. I’m not waiting desperately. I’m waiting deliberately. There’s a whole difference.
Stay fierce, the world will adjust
If anything I have confessed or created resonated, please let me know